Music and Lyrics

I watched that Hugh Grant – Drew Barrymore movie a couple of days ago. And I thought… I could write song lyrics quite well. In fact, I wrote many. Most of them hidden in secret folders, not to be opened until the day I die. Not that I suck at poetry. (Maybe sometimes I do.) But, when I am inspired enough, I write things that even impress ME. The problem is; I am afraid of revealing them. That’s why I don’t list poetry as one of my interests. That’s why this blog is unknown to people who know me.

I have always admired musicians and poets for being able to open their hearts out, without fearing that people they have never seen in their lives may know them inside-out through the lyrics. Thinking about it, there is absolutely nothing I need to hide really… It is just the feelings… Feelings I am not so happy about that inspire me to write, to get it out. Happiness is no inspiration to me. It is the sad feelings, pain, agony… After all, maybe it is a good thing I don’t have a lot of poems…

Although I feel a little uncomfortable speaking my heart out, I absolutely love songs which come deep from the heart. Not the ones made for popular demand, solely written inspired by the money they may make… But the real stuff… They make you sing things, you would never, otherwise, say out loud… The songs that make you feel a string is being strummed deep inside… And you don’t feel vulnerable, because it’s somebody else’s lyrics… No one needs to know that: had your heart had a tongue, it would say the exact same words.

But, then I ask myself… “Are musicians actually being vulnerable by writing the most human feelings everybody has but afraid to confess? Or am I just so afraid to let people find out that inside my “robust” outlook, there is a girl silently ‘crying after the ship that has taken off’?”

“Serde erkeklik var
Aglayamam
Serde erkeklik var, aglayamam
Bakakalirim giden geminin ardindan
Atamam kendimi denize, dunya guzel…”

Is it hard to be a Muslim in the US?

I know nobody thinks it is easy. There is all those stereotypes, racial profiling, ignorance, biased media coverage, etc. And I totally agree with that. But, can anybody show me a place on earth, where it is easy to be a Muslim? Here is my opinion. I think, it is hard to be a Muslim everywhere in the world today, and to be honest, comparatively speaking; US is the easiest place to be one. You can be a Muslim, without the traditional biases of your countries, without the fear of secular radicals and without the hypocritical group psychology under self-assigned religious leaders. You can believe in Islam, practice your religion and be a perfect Muslim easily, in the US. The only catch is to be looked down upon, to be a suspect by default, and even sometimes to get some hateful remarks or stares. Personally, I find those very easy to handle. And hey, nobody said it would be easy to start with, anyway.

In fact, I would have doubts about the truth ness of my belief, if it was so easy to be a believer. Look at history! Was it ever easy to be a follower of the truth? It wasn’t easy to be a Jew, when Moses first brought the message. Jesus had to deal with crucifixion plots. Speaking the truth cost a lot of prophets their lives or homes. So, if there is anybody out there, contemplating on becoming a Muslim, they should not expect it to be a piece of cake. If you want something easy, something more easily acceptable by society, something that doesn’t feel threatening to any kind of tyrant, dictator or unjust ruler, I would suggest you become an atheist, a Taoist, a secular, an agnostic or even a Budhist. Sufism might also not be too bad, although being a Muslim sufi doesn’t have any perks.


Personally, I never really have a problem with people who look down on me. God knows what passes through people's minds when they see a Muslim. Well, I couldn't care less... If somebody looks at you and thinks you might be a terrorist, too bad... I actually feel bad for those people because they have to live with that paranoia for nothing. If they look at you and think you are poor girl, who is being oppressed, it is their problem. While they feel bad and try to save you from oppression, you can enjoy your life and freedom as a liberated woman, who doesn’t have to bow down to fashion guidelines and attractive “Cover Girl” standards today’s society (namely men) dictate women. Hateful remarks are actually the easiest to handle, because as the saying goes, “the dog may keep barking, as the caravan keeps proceeding” (which, I know, doesn’t make as much sense in English, but you get the point).

If people are unfair to you because of their ignorance about your faith why should that make you feel bad? If they are ignorant, it is sad... for them… They are hostile, because they don’t know. You always fear what you don’t know, that is natural. It happens to most humans...

Yet... If they were hostile even though they knew, now THAT would hurt.

Tired of passively resisting…

I really am tired. In fact, "sick and tired" as W says... I am tired of Turkish newspapers that keep hurting my mental health every morning. I am tired of Turkish politicians, tired of the president who only represents a certain elite, tired of Turkish army because of their arrogance. And I am tired of Turkish people who are so passive, so laid-back, and so ok with everything that happens to them. I can't stop reading, I can't help but get angry and there is nothing I can do to change the situation. And oh my God, did I just quote Bush on my blog?

Turkey, really, IS the “homeland of the absurd” as Nicole and Hugh Pope say.

It is funny all losing politicians question democracy when all else fails... I can’t actually believe we are now discussing whether democracy is actually unquestionable. It’s even more ironic that the discussion is led by people who call themselves social democrats, people’s party, etc… Similar kind of people who start the most amusing discussion topic of all times! Can Islam and democracy co-exist? One more irony… People who discuss this question and say “no” are the very people who are the most fearful that Islam and democracy may actually coexist, God forbid! It is not Islam’s problem that democracy in Muslim countries has a pre-requisite of leading to anti-Islamic regimes to be considered valid.

I hope future will prove that I was wrong about everything I am about to say here. But, I am really afraid that until July 22nd, Turkey will have to handle the biggest plots of her history to prevent democracy from existing all together, no matter at what cost. And if that fails, too, the party, gaining the highest percentage of vote will not allowed to form the parliament, for whatever fake reason. If that fails as well and they are allowed to hold the government, they will probably not be able to elect the next president.

And if that happens, and the majority still remains silent, I will stop passive resistance and start real action. You'll see what a Turkish woman is capable of doing! Here it is in writing!

Safety in Turkey...

For Americans visiting or living in Turkey, US Department of State has issued some warnings about the terrorist attacks. Americans are told to 'remain in a hightened state of personal security awareness' (*). I find it a little strange that Americans are warned about terrorist attacks but there is no mention of the biggest threat in Turkey. Let me tell you one thing. If you are going to die in my country, it is more likely going to be in a traffic accident than a terrorist attack. The chance of dying in a terrorist attack in Turkey is 1 in 9,270,000. Car accident: 1 in 18,800 (**). (Of course, unless America knows something I don't know!?).


"Icinizdeki trafik canavarini durdurun!" (Stop the traffic monster in you!) This is a sign we had on huge billboards all around Turkey. We probably still have them, since those monsters are genetic. They stay in us forever. But there is a fine line between being a monster and being practical.

Today, I almost drove past a stop sign, while a police car was driving right toward me and I pushed the breaks so hard that it made a very loud squeaking noise... I was able to stop about two feet after the stop sign. I started laughing, as the policeman drove by, staring at me with disbelief. THAT was probably my unstoppable monster.

But, here is something else that happened today. While I was driving on the interstate talking to my friend, I missed my exit. Actually I missed my exit and 6 more exits as well... When I finally noticed that, I wanted to turn back. But the next exit was not until 7 more miles. So instead of going 7 miles... yes, I did something very Turkish. I took the left lane on the interstate, then drove through the grass in the middle and made a U-turn to the other direction. I had seen police cars do that and always wanted to do it. There weren't a lot of cars on the road and I was totally "remaining in a hightened personal security awareness". Now, THAT, I call practicality.

(*) http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/cis/cis_1046.html
(**) http://www.turkeytravelplanner.com/details/Safety/DangerStats.html

Oh Lord! Please don't let me be misunderstood!

Starting with a song... which says it all:


"People, do you understand me now,
If sometimes I feel a little mad
Don't you know no one alive can always be an angel
When things go wrong I seem a little sad
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

You know sometimes, I'm so carefree
With a joy that's hard to hide
Sometimes seems that all I have is worry
And then you're bound to see my other side
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

If I seem edgy, I want you to know
That I never mean to take it out on you
Life has its problems and I get more than my share
But that's one thing I never mean to do
I don't mean it

People, don't you know I'm only human
Don't you know I have faults like any one
But sometimes I find myself alone regretting
Some little thing; some foolish thing that I have done,
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Don't let me be misunderstood"

Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens)